He's A Miracle Worker!

This Christmas has been something so different to me- one where I am really trying to see beyond all the decorations and cookies to the true miracle that happened over 2000 years ago.  The more I invite God into my heart- the more I see the pain and feel the pain of our world... the suffering all around us because sin has distorted this world so far away from the way God created it to be.  

I have seen things that we laugh at nowadays- that our culture and civilization joke about and try to achieve- that pain God so greatly.  Society tells us we have to own certain things to fit in, have a certain body to be desirable, to find our identity in skills…give our bodies away…. the list goes on... and seeking these things outside of God leads to is pain and brokenness.  We can't do this on our own.  And as I sat there in tears for the things we give our hearts to I selfishly thought- 

              Why would I even want to have kids that will be raised in this?  

They will be bombarded with all these evil messages and suffer through so much pain?!  And it dawned on me that having a child in the midst of this brokenness is EXACTLY what God did- He sees all the brokenness and is even more greatly troubled than I am and yet He sent His son to us and THAT is why we are celebrating. That God sent that hope down to us that there is a better way- an answer to long awaited prayers and cries- that is exactly what He did so that we would see the right way and have a way to the Father because we cannot do it on our own.

I write this having just come in from looking at the Lunar Eclipse.  It was really cool- and as I looked up it flooded me- this miracle that a billion people are looking up at along the eastern coast of the United States… God did that for us today!  And over 2000 years ago He did another miracle in the skies that led a group of royal travelers to a great and mighty king in the form of a child!  WOW!  What a Christmas...

Count Your Blessings!

If you ever find yourself getting upset at something... remember that it is a gift- a blessing... then try and go a week without it and see what happens.  I realized this since our dishwasher is broken and we have to hand wash everything (including over thanksgiving)... it makes me really consider what I am eating to create minimal pans to clean...  The environmentalist in me is being threatened by the laziness-  paper plates vs. dishes that I have to wash... (don't worry... holdin' strong to the dishes!)

But it reminds me of the importance of "fasting" from certain things... be it food... an appliance you take for granted... when you get upset at your computer for going so slow imagine all the work you'd be doing without it.  I'd like to see any of us go a week without running water.  It really makes you appreciate the things in your life that you take for granted and reminds you of how blessed you truly are.  

lets get to the point...

So I was laying in bed this morning pondering love and thinking about art… actually I had just gotten up and I don't know if that was the case because I was praying and this vision of God's love in our lives just came to me in the form of art.  It was a contrast of realism and pointillism and how we are all tiny points in a huge painting where God is the artist.  We each have our own unique colors and placement- we are uniquely placed around other points with intention and care.   

Background- realism is an art style where you create your drawing or painting based on recreating exactly what you see in front of you.  Pointillism is an art style where you create an image using dots of color.  Examples below…. realism and pointillism:

The image I had is that regardless of what we do we are all a small part of this larger picture.  God is the artist and has a vision in His head of the grand painting.  When we are put onto the picture He then gives us the opportunity of how we want to live as "points".  We can either be a point that reaches out and touches the other points around us or we can be a point that keeps itself separated from the points around us.  In that we have the opportunity to share God's love… that if we choose to be the point that reaches out and touches the other points around us it makes the image flow smoothly and it is easy to see the picture close up.  The love that flows from one point and reaches out to those surrounding it can then be sent even further out and create such a beautiful image that you can view up close and see exactly what it is.  The converse is everyone acting of their own accord and not reaching out and touching the points around them- not sharing that love.  When this happens you cannot tell what that larger picture is up close… it just looks like a whole lot of individual dots.  Which is what we are- a whole lot of individuals, not a community living in love.  But the beauty is that even in this situation-  you can still step back and see the image that was trying to be created.  It just takes longer and is harder to understand at first.

Regardless of how we choose to live as the dot we are in relation to those around us, the artists' image will still ultimately be portrayed.  That is so cool-  that in a world where everyone lives selfishly it is a lot harder to see the ultimate image but you still can- that when we live selfishly we are led further away from God's beautiful picture of love.  And in a world where you live truly loving and reaching out to those around you it is so much easier to see God's picture- but either way it will be revealed… God is such an amazing creator!

things i am thankful for… 2010

1. a bed to sleep in
2. warm blankets and clothes that i have plenty of (especially since we have not yet turned the heat on…)
3. even though its not on… a house with heat
4. a house 
5. a television to watch the thanksgiving day parade on
6. parents who can afford to feed me meals
7. a coffeemaker to brew delicious coffee
8. goodwill stores…. the place where i got my coffeemaker and a large portion of my clothes… that we can reuse stuff instead of always having to buy it new
9. a country where we are free to be Christians
10. for soldiers who give their lives and their time fighting for me and millions of people they have never even met- who miss out being with their families so we can be with ours
11. for my uncle- being clean and having a job… what a turn around from a couple years ago.  that he was a ref and is doing so well and for the blessing that he is to those around him with his loving spirit
12. for running water inside our houses- sink, toilets….
13. for a dishwasher- it was broken but made me appreciate how convenient it is when it is working and how much time it saves us
14. for apple cider donuts and just the amount of food that we have in such close proximity
15. for glasses and contact lenses so that I can see
16. for the people who grow that food whether its in the form of animals or just agriculture… 
17. for a family that watches the dog show and roots for the beagle to win every year even though it seems silly
18. for a family that doesn't care what you look like- that they care about you… and that we could enjoy thanksgiving in comfortable clothes and relax
19. that we have cars that work and roads to travel on
20. to be able to pick up Mom-Mom and have her spend thanksgiving with us
21. for Mom-Mom's 90 years of life
22. for a family that loves one another and wants the best for one another
23. for a delicious meal
24. for a table and chairs to sit and eat it around… for music… 
25. for fun traditions watching muppets christmas carol 
26. for so many amazing friends to wish happy thanksgiving and all the blessings that they have brought me throughout this year and my life
27. for different forms of technology to stay in contact with them
28. for a dog and a neighborhood to go on a walk
29. for chilly nights and warm clothes… for starts even when I can't see them

There is so much that I spent the day thinking about and thanking God for.  He has given me so much… but even if He were to take it all away and I were left freezing cold, blind, hungry, with no friends or family in the middle of nowhere today… I could still praise Him because despite of whatever circumstances I am in He still sent His son to die for me- not because I am worthy of that but because He loves me that much.  That I can always be thankful for the way he loves- and that He can't love me anymore and He won't love me any less.  That He is willing to pay that price for me- someone seemingly so worthless…

" You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the   ungodly.  Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die.  But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."       -Romans 5:6-8

I am not even a good person and Christ was still willing to die for me… that is such a gift.  I can't wait to one day hopefully be able to use this day with my own family to serve others out of the wealth of things that we have to be thankful for.  To spend the day giving others reasons to be thankful for and be thankful to give to them.  I hope that you all had a wonderful thanksgiving and no matter what the circumstances there is always something to be thankful for.  God Bless!

I'm a Misfit Toy

Most of you have probably seen the wonderful Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Christmas Special with the Abominable Snowman and Yukon Cornelius the gold miner and so forth.  If not- just watch on television and you'll probably see it four times this year alone… One of my all-time favorite Christmas movies is the Polar Express- I love it, you should take some time to watch that too…  But recently I was going through a time of really needing to be reminded of Jesus' sacrifice for me.  I needed the overwhelming truth of what He did for me to change me, not just the knowledge of that truth.  I needed to be reminded of who I really was- as a sinner in need of a savior.  I prayed for God to really reveal to more about Jesus' sacrifice and myself- and He is so good, He continues to show me the overwhelming truth of Christ's sacrifice. 

In this time God gave me this image to show me and remind me who I really am and why His love is so amazing.  He took me back to that near and deer (hahaha) special with the reindeer who was outcast from all the rest.  In his journeys and wanderings he comes across the island of misfit toys- toys that became broken, or that didn't work quite right.  Toys that had already been opened or played with and abandoned... that had been determined useless by their owners.  All these toys had come together and were living on the "Island of Misfit Toys"- having been rejected by little girls and boys.  In the same way, in the Polar Express, Santa was starting a recycling program, bringing back the toys that kids had used and broken or abandoned.  Both movies had these cases of abandoned toys that were determined unworthy by the standards of the user.  

God used these toys to show me that is exactly who I am… no child on Christmas would willingly accept an already unwrapped present that was used and broken- missing bits and pieces- that was dirty and smelly- that no longer worked correctly.  And yet God accepts us exactly that way-  we can't give him anything more than ourselves, and we are these broken misfit toys that no one else would even accept.  Yet he yearns for us, he longs for us… He wants us to come to Him and he wants to take us back and fix all of our broken areas- which He knows better than anyone because he is our creator.  He knows how to properly restore us.  

And it wasn't even enough that He is the only one who would even take us in this condition, but he paid the price himself to make us clean.  He gave his son that we would be able to be restored.  And that is humbling- to look at yourself as the broken unwanted toy that God paid to have for himself… 

Fall Leaves

I love fall… love love love.  Favorite season, favorite time of year, its so beautiful and lovely and reminds me of how God is such an amazing creator.  As I was driving home yesterday I was looking around at all the absolutely gorgeous leaves- some yellow, some orange, some red, some still green… all in different kinds of trees that were different heights and in different stages of turning and falling from the trees.  Seeing them all gave me one of those moments of revelation about ourselves and God.  

I thought to myself…. what if all the trees were the same and how that would take away so much from the beauty.  We all are like those trees.  We've had the seed planted in us and it has been growing-  that makes us all different heights and different species of trees depending on who we are.  And because we all aren't the same, the harvest that we produce comes at different times in different sizes and in different colors- and that is what makes it so lovely!  The beauty of the differences between us all working together to serve one master- the one who created us.  

Instead of all striving to be the same and do the same things as one another, we need to rejoice in our differences and serve God in the way that He designed us to, not the way that other people around us serve Him.  He created us this way that all things would be seen and loved, not just the same thing being loved by many.  The implications of this has such a profound impact.  It also reminded me to be content with the size of the harvest we produce- that it may be smaller than others but that does not make it any less important.  Without that little red beautiful firey tree-  the huge yellow ones would all blend into one another.  Seeing the colors of fall now reminds me to embrace the ways I am different from my friends and to seek God's will that I will be able to produce a beautiful harvest.

We are all Leash Babies!

I have come to the realization that we are all leash babies.  I legit… was.  I would run away and hide in clothing racks as a child, you know… good ol' department store hide-n-seek.   My mom did not think this game was as fun as I did and said they had to keep me on a leash so as not to lose me, but i turned out fine… 

Regardless… this weekend has really opened my eyes to a lot of things about myself and how I have been inadvertently viewing my identity in Christ.  I had this thought in prayer at church that we are all like leash babies… we all have a harness that attaches to our lives and a leash that can be used to pull and direct us.  Some people give that control to money, others their jobs, some to addictions, or alcohol, etc.  Some give it over to their anger or a need for revenge, some people keep it for themselves and wander aimlessly. With any of these things as our "leader" (the thing controlling us), there will never be enough.  It will pull you places you never wanted to go, you will never be satisfied, and always longing for more.  You think more will fill you but it won't and it will drag you at an unrelenting pace- it doesn't care if you get hurt or who you hurt along the way.  And sometimes it will leave you out to dry, tie you up and walk away…  its not dependable.

The only way to truly live is to give our leashes to Christ so that he can guide us.  He knows each of us and desires a deep and intimate relationship.  He doesn't take our leash and drag us, but he gently pulls and directs us to the places that he knows will be best for us.  He turns back, calls us by name and encourages us when it gets tough… and when it gets really bad he will pick us up and carry us.  He knows all the things we will get distracted by on this walk called life because he has been here too and was tempted by the same things, and if we let him he will show us how we too can live without giving into them, for in Hebrews 4:15 it says:

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.

How comforting to know that when he is in control he loves us and is the best leader we can ask for because he has been there and he has overcome anything we will face.  He isn't going to drag us over other people but will lead us to walk beside them, and he will never leave us abandoned. 

This is what I want and I realized that instead of giving my leash to Jesus, I looked at how he lived and tried to mimic that myself.  It was like I attached myself to a pulley and tried to keep up with Jesus.  It is impossible, and the more and more I tried, the more I fell short and failed- and the worse I would feel.  Instead of asking him to guide me, I was just trying to be him…. but the only way to be able to live like he did is to follow him and be guided by him.  To give control of our lives up every day.  I wasn't giving him control, I was still in control.  Long story short- I have realized what I was doing and am now putting that leash in his hands because he is the only one who can lead me on that path and the only one I want to have control of my life.  

Dunkin donuts has BOTH pumpkin coffee AND donuts!!!!  :)  i am SOOO happy!

Just thought everyone should know...

Vinegar Devil

So we are redoing the hallway/foyer/stair area of my house and I have been given the task of painting and all that jazz…  yesterday I was going in for the first big part of the journey- painting the front door.  I've seen many hideously painted front doors and was a little nervous- I didn't wanna be the newest addition to awfully painted doors club.  So after calling mom three times to make sure I had everything straight i embarked on the journey… the only problem is that i thought we had two cans of paint- oil primer and latex.  We had three…. oil primer, latex primer, and latex.  In my limited knowledge I therefore went to use the latex we had already used upstairs.  Mom kept saying "latex primer" and I know that wasn't oil primer so it MUST be the latex one upstairs.  I washed everything down, let it dry, got out my brush and roller and went to town.  After one coat it still looked splotchy and see-through so I added another to the door and outside trim and goodness, I was impressed!  It was looking good… I was happy and took a shower and went off to dinner with my friend.  When I came home and talked to mom she said it looked good, and that I needed to pick up the latex-semi glass paint (good looking paint) and finish… 

Well then I thought I already latexed it today… and told her what I had used- you should have seen her eyes- WHAT?!  Oh man… I made a huge mistake.  I have now learned the lesson…  the reason the latex PRIMER is so important is because it provides a surface the latex paint can stick to… it won't stick to the metal door permanently.   So that meant today, in addition to painting the steps, I decided to find a way to take off the old paint and start over.  If I am going to do a job I want to do it right.  I looked online for some ideas how to remove latex from metal and found a remedy that suggested using vinegar.  So today I spent hours with a washcloth, vinegar, and an incorrectly painted door.  Peeling, peeling, peeling away….

The real lesson that began to form in my head is the importance of our foundation.  Although my door looked REALLY nice on the outside, underneath it had a poor foundation and when a storm came along or we stuck a wreath on the door, etc… the paint would start to peel because it had nothing to stick to.  It looked good but wasn't going to stand up to most of the challenges it would face.  It is like us-  without a solid foundation in God, we will crumble when hard situations come our way.  Its like Jesus says in Luke 6:49:

"But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete."

Unfortunately my door was like that mans house.  It had no foundation and the storms and everyday issues the door dealt with would peel the paint.  Additionally, when i added the vinegar the beautiful looking' paint came off in such huge pieces.  The vinegar reminded me of the devil… how he knows exactly what will tear us down (in this case vinegar, but it could be anything in our own lives) and uses it to break us down, and how easy it is when we don't have a foundation.  And let me tell you… the devil stinks!  My hands still smell!  Oh yea… and I'm only halfway done, but so many lessons learned and I am thankful that through my mistakes God can reveal his truths!  And when I am done the door will look lovely and have a good foundation-  Colossians 3:23.

Carrots, Eggs, and Coffee Beans

This is kinda the story that the blog title is based off.  It isn't my story and I don't know who wrote it but it is good.   I love it and it is a great reminder to me when I find myself in trying situations... I find it absolutely amazing how much God loves us.. how he uses EVERYTHING that HE created in HIS creation to encourage and inspire us....

"A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.

The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the dark stand trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches."

I really want to be like the coffee beans, I don't want the circumstances around me to determine who I am but I want who I am in Christ and how I deal try to deal with things in the way that He would affect the circumstances, people, whatever it is around me. 

  

"Life isn't about waiting out the storms,but learning to dance in the rain"