The Incline to Glory

CULPRIT:  The Incline.  Ascent- 2000 feet (6350 ft to 8500 ft elevation).

Distance- 0.92 miles straight up

As an act of personal challenge some of the interns decided to climb the Incline the Friday after Thanksgiving.  To get a sense of the incline, I found this quote from Apolo Ono (the Olympic speed-skater) from a New York Times article “It’s the one workout where people truly have to face something that is unbeatable, it is you against yourself.” 

As I started the climb I found out how true his quote was.  We each just started going at our own speed and our own determination- none of us attempted to achieve some personal record, just simply to make it to the top.  This gave me a lot of reflection and prayer time.  This past week has been really hard for me in so many ways- missing being home with my family for the holidays, missing my old friends, reflecting on lives lost and winding down, starting the week getting the stomach flu, and really struggling through some painful personal growth from a relationship.  The verse I had really been clinging to that week was Romans 8:18 which says, “ I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”  It was really a good reminder but in the midst of feeling very overwhelmed I found myself just wanting to know what this glory was.  I know that it is good and that the sufferings grow us and make us stronger- but what was the end… If I could just know the end that would make it so much easier, right? 

So I was praying and processing and thinking through all this as we ended the week on the incline- I was climbing- my heart was pounding, the air was getting thinner, the slope was getting steeper, and the steps were getting larger.  I had been going quite a ways and I knew I was going to have to stop soon- as much as I would like to keep going non-stop it felt like my heart would explode if I pushed it too much further.  So I stopped and as I turned my face away from the mountain for the first time I saw a beautiful view of Manitou Springs, all the way out to Colorado Springs and beyond. 

Wow!  I had been so focused on the steps I was climbing and the mountain ahead of me that I was missing something so beautiful behind me.  As I started to climb again this reminded me of Romans 8:18 and where I was with God- I was so focused on the sufferings all around me and ahead of me that I was missing out on that what was behind me.  I was missing out on looking back at the view he had already brought me to and on the glory he had already been accomplishing in my life.  It was so gorgeous.

As I continued climbing up, occasionally stopping to catch my breath and turn around to see the view, I was able to see further and further each time.  I realized that as I am looking ahead at these sufferings- represented by the different sized wooden beam steps of the Incline- I don’t know exactly what that future glory is, but if I look behind me at all the work God has already done, I see such beauty and have some growing sense of what that glory will be.  I knew that the view from the top was going to be so much more complete and amazing than the glimpses I was already getting. 

If we spend our time focusing on the suffering of course we will be blind to the glory and feel like quitting- it is focusing on the glory that has been revealed and will continue to be revealed that helps us get through the suffering.  It really was a spiritual journey… made it up in 46 minutes, woo!

Enter his gates with Thanksgiving...

Fall is my favorite season of the year but lately it seems to also come with much sorrow.   Especially on this week of Thanksgiving- it has been a reminder to be thankful for the beauty and brevity of life and to respect and be thankful for what little time we do have.   Exactly one year ago is when I heard the news that Paul had passed away after being hit by a car, surviving on life support a few weeks. He was the 21-year old brother of my high-school friend, and a friend of my younger sister.   At his funeral service the pastor really reminded me that in the ocean of eternity, both 21 years and 100 years are but a tiny drop.   This was also around the time that the song “If I Die Young” by the Band Perry had come out and the lyrics “I’ve had just enough time… what I’ve never did is done” really resonated with me.  When our time is over and our life ends, we will never have another chance to do those things we haven’t but at the same time we have each had ‘just enough time’.  It is a call to appreciate the short time that we do have and to use it to do the things that bring us joy in serving God whole-heartedly. 

We read today in Ecclesiastes 11:9 for intern Bible study, “Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment.”  God has designed us each uniquely to find joy and excitement in different things- and He gives us the freedom to follow those desires of our heart.  However, we are also reminded to still keep his commands because we will all be brought to judgment before the Lord for how we have lived.  He is not out to ‘get us’ or ‘make our life miserable’. On the contrary He wants us to find joy in the desires of our hearts, but as the designer of our hearts he also has equipped us and taught us the best way to seek and fulfill those desires and given us a guide through the commandments and the Holy Spirit. 

Today I was reminded again of brevity of life as we gathered around as an office for an update on one of the founders and CEOs of Engineering Ministries International (EMI).  He found out a few weeks ago that the cancer he had that was in remission had come back and was spreading through his vital organs.  All of the EMI offices across the world have been in a period of fasting and prayer for him and his family, but as we gathered today we heard that he has had a stroke- which can be a sign that the cancer has spread to the brain.  He is with his family and they have had a hospice care attendant come into the home.  The whole situation has been really hard as we reflect on what an amazing man Jim is- his life of obedience to the Lord in starting and growing Engineering Ministries International.  An organization which now has offices all over the world; serving and bringing hope through engineering and architectural design to people of every tribe, nation and tongue.  An organization which has allowed design professionals to use their God-given gifts to serve both God and the least of these.  He has truly glorified God with his life- and in his suffering has continued to glorify God.  While he can’t talk- his family has been praying over him and reading him scripture as well as Randy Alcorn’s book Heaven at Jim’s request. 

Although I have only known Jim for a short time, I can’t help but feel so grateful and thankful for the way he has lived his life out in faith and obedience.  Today in our office devotions this verse was shared from Psalm 100:4-5,

“Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.”

In this season of Thanksgiving in our country, I find peace and can give thanks knowing that whenever Jim’s final day is he will enter into heaven and into God’s courts with thanksgiving, praising His name for eternity in a restored body.  Thanks for the gift of Jesus’ death that that is even a possibility.  And for the days Jim still has on this earth with us- please keep him in your prayers, that he would have peace, joy, and continue to glorify God with his life.

Suitcases

Traveling can really open your eyes to many things.  Traveling to and from Guatemala and El Salvador, through all the airports and baggage lines, I saw so many differently shaped, sized, and patterned suitcases, duffle bags, and other carrying case paraphanelia.  I started thinking how similar these are to our own God-given and designed bodies. 

It says in Psalm 139:13-14:

For you created my inmost being;  You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;  Your works are wonderful, 
I know that full well.

God designs each of our bodies uniquely.  None of us look the same although we may have similar features.  Even identical twins look a little different.  But our bodies aren’t what make us who we are.  It is what is inside… God doesn’t just design a body and put us into it… He knows our souls and uniquely knits and forms each of out bodies for our soul. 

As I looked at the suitcases I thought how similar they were to our bodies… this is the same thing we do with choosing a suitcase or carrying bag.   We think about what needs to be brought and fit in the bag and then choose a bag based on those things.  Both our bodies and suitcases are simply carrying cases for what is inside.  And from the outside- you can’t tell what is inside although you can tell your bag from the outside through its design or brightly colored ribbons.  In one is a unique person and soul, and in the other is the stuff that unique soul needs to have with them for their travel whether clothes, gifts, or engineering equipment for whatever their journey needs. 

Being reminded of how uniquely we are each made was such a cool gift- especially when people start to complain about the color of their hair, or their eyes, or what their body looks like and how they wish these things were different.  Our bodies were uniquely designed for us as a special gift from God for our souls.  They are simply a carrying case and we don’t need to become attached to them or overly obsessed about our bodies.  They are simply a temporary residence for our soul that we are to care for in this short period that we have them.

Lessons from Babysitting

I had the wonderful gift of getting to watch the children of one of the staff workers at emi last night.  Their ages are about 5,3 and 4 months…  Going into the night I was curious how it would go- a little glimpse of what it is like to be the mother of three children if only for a few hours…  I prayed walking in for God’s guidance and help throughout the evening and for Him to be my support and guide. 

With a crying 4 month old who just did not want to take the nap his body was so desperately desiring, I was so thankful for the Dr. Seuss DVD that had the older two captured.  I was reminded of how amazing mothers are with their gift for doing what takes others two hands and a lot of concentration with only one because a baby is in the other.  The apple corer slicer was not going to happen with one hand no matter how much I tried… With an extremely simple dinner for the kids finally made I tried to coax the 4 month old to sleep by rocking him, singing, walking around, patting him… all to no avail.  Finally- recognizing that nothing I was doing was working I just sat there holding him and praying for Him that God would bring him peace and rest.  He started to calm down and the next time I looked down he had fallen asleep.  What I was unable to do in those twenty minutes God showed me He was able if I simply just bring it to Him and ask.  When I gave up my control of the situation and asked him in… He was able to work.

I put him in the rocker swing- where he opened his eyes but was content long enough to have dinner with the older kids.   We talked and had fun at dinner and afterwards the 4 month old started getting fussy again because he still had not taken the nap he needed- perfect timing not to disturb dinner though.  We all played some Boggle Jr. together and I had to step out to get the 4 month old to sleep again.  As I stepped in to check on the game- the 3 year old was crying and the 5 year old had ran and hid.  The 3 year old told me that her brother had hit her in the nose with a block.  With her crying and the 4 month old crying I asked the 5 year old to come over to me so we could talk about it.  Knowing he had done wrong he started crying because he did not want to come over and have to apologize.  All three kids crying!  Oh man… I was overwhelmed thinking about how Moms do it…  finally we all were able to sit together and talk about the situation and apologies were made. 

It was time to get ready for bed so the two older children went upstairs to go to the bathroom and do all that while I sat down to get the four month old to sleep again.  I looked over at the dog and started thinking- at some point I want to have children but there is no way I could stay in control and on top of all these things.  That is when in dawned on me… I try so hard to maintain this sense of control but the point is that we can’t… no matter how hard we try we cannot do it on our own and having children really would mean giving each moment and second to God in it all.  That no matter how hard I would try to always be ready and prepared I could never be.  Each day would require coming to God to be refilled and to be prepared for what lies ahead.  Reading 1 Corinthians 13 from a frame on the wall, the 4 month old finally fell asleep for good and I put him in the rocker swing.  Upstairs the bedtime process had begun… we finally got in their room and read the stories they picked out, I sang a pretty lame song I made up about motorcycles for them but redeemed myself with *Twinkle Twinkle* and then we had prayer time.

Prayer time was so adorable.  It was such a sweet reminder of Matthew 18:2-4:

“He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

We went around and said the things we were thankful for and those things we wanted to ask God for… The three year old was so thankful- for mommy and daddy, her brother, mommy’s meeting, Jesus… everything but also wanted to pray for “Jim body hurt” and her friend Ryan.  When we started praying the 3 year old would pray for one thing and then turn to me asking what the other things she had said were… and then close her eyes really tightly, say it and then ask for the next.  She even said “…and thank you for the girl sitting here with me right now…” about me getting to be there with them.  It was such a cute reminder of the pureness in children and their prayers and their thankfulness for even the simplest things that I take for granted that is the type of faith we are to have.  I loved it. 

Then I tucked them both in and made it downstairs just as the 4 month old was waking up to be fed.  Feeding him I had time to think about how sweet even times of silence and peace are- especially in the midst of everything that seems to be so chaotic and crazy.  Time to be thankful for how wonderfully God worked the timing out that night… and to thank Him for the reminder that He is in control.  It was a great night and I felt very blessed to have the opportunity to learn from these children.