Today I was especially thankful for the opportunity to walk my aunt's 13 year old bassett hound. However, at first I was not. I was looking forward to a nice, brisk, fall morning hike to a little waterfall by their house. It was going to be a good little bit of quality time in God's creation and some time to take it all in. It was going to be a great morning activity- get in, hike, then get to doing my list of tasks for the day. Expectations... When my aunt asked if I wanted to take a dog with me I immediately said yes- and suggested one of the younger ones (with seemingly less leg problems, etc.) When she mentioned the oldest might be the best on the leash I thought, oh no... what if her legs give out? What if she just stops and refuses to go any further? (She is a big dog at 60 lbs and I can't carry that by myself through the woods!) There was a lot of doubt stirring. Plus- if you've ever walked with a hound dog, you know they need to sniff everything and go even slower than other dogs. Hound dogs are not a prime candidate for a speed walk.
When we got there and I had helped her out of the car, we started walking I became kind of annoyed at first. We were moving so slowly, people were passing us, we stopped for so many things (peeing, sniffing, no good reason, because someone was in front of us, because someone was behind us, because there was no one, etc). What if she has a heart attack with this movement was going through my mind... But slowly and steadily- emphasis on slowly... she kept going! At first what was annoying was how much I felt like it was holding me back. I could have been done and through the whole thing before we even ended up making it to the falls. That seemed so frustrating- but I started seeing some of myself in her. She was connected to me and I was leading her on this trail that she could do, but definitely was not in quite the right shape for. We made good speed at some points, and no speed at others. But we did keep moving forward.
It started dawning on me how much I am like Pookie in this situation, and Jesus is like me. He is trying to lead me down a path at a pace I should be able to handle. But I am too out of shape to be with him. I want to be connected to him and following him, but sometimes I am more like a hound dog. Going slowly, getting distracted by other scents and wanting to run a different path. Pulling and yanking, but being lovingly directed back to the right path before I get too far away. When I am not intentionally spending time with him and reading his word, I struggle to keep up on a path that I should be okay moving on. Yes it has ups and downs, but he is leading me at a pace I should be able to handle.
I can't imagine how loving he is to not get frustrated and just want to pick us up and move us to the right place. But in his love he doesn't do that- he lets us walk the path with him as he patiently encourages us to keep moving forward. There we learn to trust that he is with us, learn to recognize his voice, and grow in our own strength to overcome. That is what I started doing with Pookie, thinking how Jesus must do that with me. Encouraging the good steps and progress we had made, and trying not to get frustrated. In the end, I was so grateful at the lesson she taught me and for the extra time I got to spend outside in the fresh air. But I know now, I ain't nothin' but a hound dog, and when I look at how I am moving it will be a good reminder to keep moving forward!
