Merry Christmas Eve! always ...

A weird thing has happened recently (being the last two years)... I have become very sentimental on Christmas Eve. For tradition... for the current 'usual', but also for the 'old' usual. For what I did growing up and where I lived. For those individuals lost and the abandoned traditions that will no longer continue to. For the roots I have, and that my family has. I have this strange pulling between joy for the coming, and mourning for the past. 

Maybe I am in a self-induced Ebenezer Scrooge situation? Reflecting on the past while being in the present, and wanting the future to be full of love and hope. Regardless, it is weird how a day you love and that is full of joyful anticipation is simultaneously reminding you of what is and what has been lost... That which is no more ... it's a space that I squirm in and usually run from. 

It hit me as I sang a favorite Christmas song to myself- "Old City Bar" by Trans Siberian Orchestra. The whole thing is a moving story and allegory of life. The lyric that has stuck with me today is this, 

"The child said "I've noticed

If one could be home,
They'd be already there"

If I could control being home in all the things I reflect on holding dear, I'd already be there. But what is true is that every day is Christmas Eve. Every day is wrought with the tension between what is, what has been lost, and what is to come and restore it all. Everyday we are awaiting the arrival again of Jesus. The restoration of home. I think that is the tension I feel most strongly every 'real' Christmas Eve. The tension between what is, has been, and what is to come. The longing for the permanent, unchanging, hope and joy-filled home my heart longs for. So until the time heaven and out permanent home is restored, we keep living out a Christmas Eve. 

Merry Christmas Eve until he returns to you all!

Advent Musing: Peace

Colossians 1:16 "For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him."

This verse just called out, "peace", to me. It seems everything can be charged and risky when talking about politics and ideas about leaders these days... I've sat by listening to  discussions about political agendas in coffee shops. With how intricate and calculated people have made plans to gain power, it can cause anxiety that what is right will not be upheld or represented, just what has the best planner. 

This verse made me breath a sigh of relief because all the powers and authority were not only created by him, but for him. God with the greater goal of reconciliation and redemption is behind it all. Not a sinful and limited in perspective human. Ah, sigh. Peace in the midst.

Forest Church

I was hiking through the woods today. It's that time of year when all the leaves have fallen and are coating the ground. It makes the views great because you can see so far without the summer leafy vegetation.  It's also great because it's not hot! 

I love having seasons and seeing the changes that come with each one. They're unique and show a different truth about God. 

Seeing the leaves on the ground and the fallen seeds reminded me of the generational journey of the church. The things that were the fruit and glory of those before us are beautiful. We enjoy them in their prime like summer, they're beautiful as they turn to fall and begin to drop the seeds. The leaves fall and coat the ground, becoming the compost and rich soil for the future growth that is to come. It happens year after year as the forest is like the church, with different generations all living together in community. They drop the seeds that grow and become the future forest and future church.

I love how physical reality points to rich spiritual truths, revealing God in each and every little thing.