Loving Father

I enjoy people watching... most of the time. It is fascinating what you can learn from even just the observed interactions of those around you. 

I was seated outside eating breakfast the other day. The tables were along a somewhat busy road and there were lots of customers coming and going. There were some cringe moments, some joyful moments, some sweet moments... the full Gambit.

One of the sweet moments was seeing a father with his two little kids picking up breakfast. As they were leaving to cross the street, he did the classic 'everyone holds hands' move. The little girl clearly was still learning this move as she was not fully cooperating. 

This incredibly normal moment struck me as so beautiful. It revealed the way God loves me, like that father and daughter. The father wanted to hold her hand and wait for the best time to lead her to cross because He knew the danger. She had  no idea danger even existed. That sweet girl had no idea how hurt she could be nor could she get herself where she needed to go without his help.

We can sometimes see the dangers more clearly now given time, maturity, and experience but we still don't see it all. Why then is it still so hard to put my hand in God's and trust him to be my loving father? To let him lead me? To believe he is leading me the best way to my best? Why do I still want to choose my own path? Goodness sometimes I am that same little girl. I need his help and guidance. Oh that I would trust him more to be the loving father that wants to give me and lead me to good things. 

those that go before

Thank you to all those who have gone before and helped make the way a little clearer, safer, and supported for us. 

I was running on a trail I have run hundreds of times. Lots of people walk, bike, and jog here year-round. But fall is such a fun time to be on the trail because the colors are lovely, the leaves are falling, and the distinct autumn smell is in the air. I like to use my time on this trail surrounded by nature to pray and help refocus myself on God. I had just prayed for God's spirit to be present here- for people on this trail to experience him whether they know him or not. 

Ahead of myself I saw two ladies who had stopped their walk and were looking at something on the trail. As I approached from one direction, a father and son who had been fishing approached from the other. The women stopped us with the palm up stopping hand motion. They had retreived a stick . What the women were trying to do was protect either us from the snake or the snake from us. Probably both. 

It was all coiled up and aggressive. It wasn't very big but it blended in well with the leaves and was irritated (possibly had been passed too closely by a biker?). I looked at the dark snake and markings and am thinking it was a copperhead which is venomous. 

The man volunteered to move it with the stick but it lunged at him and it was clear a longer stick was going to be needed. We found one and he was able to safely get the snake off the trail. 

The presence of this snake on the trail right after that prayer, and right in my running path really struck me. I was so grateful for those ladies who went before me and saw this potential threat. I was very grateful that they didn't just go around and leave the problem for someone else. That someone would have been me, running in prime striking distance to this well blended angry snake. 

Without those that go ahead of us and help clear the way, those who come behind could get very hurt. The importance of people who go before us and help guide and protect us is critical to our journeys. 

So I reflected on how grateful I am for mentors, parents, entrepreneurs, teachers, coworkers, and my family through the ages. These people prepared a way ahead of me, making a path, clearing it of danger (or at least pointing it out), and encouraging me to keep going hopefully even further than they did. Not for my own glory, but so I can keep the process going and help prepare the way for those who come after me. 

Pruning

Pruning hurts! I know it is a for a greater thing, for something better and more fruitful. But there is a difference in knowing and experiencing the pain of pruning. I think you know it is pruning because of that pain. 

It hurts because what is being pruned is still living. It is way easier to have something dead and that I no longer care about cut back. That seems far less painful. But there also was no potential for fruit there either. And if there is no fruit, then there are no seeds and no potential to multiply. And God is in the business of seeing us produce fruit for His glory. 

John 15:2

'Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit."

So I am trying to feel and embrace that pain as he prunes. It means there was something living there, that may have been good, but I serve a God who is for my best and his greatest glory. Let us grieve the loss well while looking forward with the hope for what is to grow from pruning. 

Seeds

Seeds are crazy little things. It blows my mind how the tiniest of acorns can grow into a mighty tree. All you have to do is drop into good soil, add water, and wait.

There is so much information and potential contained in this little package. 

There are so many lessons to be learned from seeds- Jesus taught many. Lately I've been caught up with the idea of how we "plant" seeds.  As we share truths about God and the gospel we are planting seeds. Heck, even when we tell ourselves lies we plant seeds. Everything is a seed, just not everything grows. What are you watering? What are you putting more focus and energy into?

When you plan seeds as in for a garden, you put a few in the hole and thin them out later. The glory isn't to what specific seed grew but to the "fruit" and harvest that will be produced. It's not about the glory of the seed itself or the planter but about the glory of the harvest. 

Jesus teaches all these things, Paul reinforces them, and I'm just amazed at how much they have to teach me. 

Why did God make mosquitoes?!

This is one of the top questions my dad says he is going to ask God one day... along with "who actually shot JFK?" and some others, ha. I know God has purpose and intent behind everything He did. He had purpose and design for his creation as He created it.  BUT what blows my mind is He even had purpose and design to how it would still work after the fall. 

I do not know what the initial purpose of the mosquito was... maybe some kind of pollination? Who knows...What I do know now though is it is summer and they are coming out to disturb my front porch sitting and outdoor yard hangouts. The bites are obnoxious and itchy. I am grateful we are in a place where we do not have to fear the diseases they could be transmitting on top of the annoyance. But still... they are pesky little things.

Some pieces I started to put together are:

• there was no sacrifice of blood until after the fall
• mosquitos suck blood
• blood usually symbolizes life
• here where we have four defined seasons, mosquitoes are mainly out in summer
• summer is a season typically of growth into harvest.

Now what I think when I see mosquitos I will remember this. Part of God's design in using them is as a reminder there are forces out there trying to steal our lifeblood in the midst of times of growth. May the slapping of a bug off my arm or leg be a reminder that there are literal forces out there trying to steal, kill, destroy, and rob me of the growth and life God has given me. And may the itchiness of a bite be a constant reminder of my need for the gospel and Christs' sacrifice because my lifeblood is not enough.

Ephesians 6:12- For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Thoughts about heading back to the office....

Day one after 15 months of working from home. Phew!  Working in person is exhausting! Real talk, I felt like I had already put in at least half a day by the time I arrived. And that was simply between getting everything done I needed to before leaving (trash cans, watering the plants, not hitting the snooze button, morning prayer walk and reading my passages for the day), dealing with the crazy drivers and traffic driving to work, and cleaning up the yogurt juice that spilled on my mat driving in. I was ready for a nap at 10:30 am.

I am so lucky and grateful that I even had the opportunity to have the luxury and precaution of working form home during the pandemic. Thanks to a great IT department , supportive company, and being able to even afford internet/etc. I am so glad my family stayed safe during all this time. It is an absolute blessing and privilege that we were able to get vaccinated as people in other countries are having new waves of COVID. I have been thanking God for all those things that were answers to prayers early on.

But it was also such a unique opportunity I am grateful to have had learning about and growing in myself. It felt like every three months there were huge changes and shifts. God was so kind to help hit the "reset" button for me. He introduced me to people and groups at the exact right moment. God used them to call out things in me that I had forgotten were there... things I had let gather dust because they were not appreciated where I was. Things I am good at and actually enjoy. God used them to grow me towards a deeper awareness of my understanding of me, my feelings and emotions. God helped point me back to Him in it all with the reminder that he designed me on purpose with specific gifts and to seek him, not the "American dream" as my guide map for how to use them. They are for His glory, not mine. He has done sooo much work in this time, I am both amazed but see how much I still have to grow. 

I think I have learned I thrive working from home. I guess that is a thing? It isn't that I don't like seeing people. I am just way better at keeping myself focused and disciplined on work on my own and developing a healthy balance between work and life as a result. People around me are always going to be distractions- I want to listen to what they are saying... maybe join in... figure out what to join in on and what not to...  I built a little community here that I loved. A routine that I loved. On day one I already miss Eddie the mailman... my Dunkin' girls... waving to neighbors on my lunch stroll... seeing out the window what family member is visiting my neighbor... 

There are good things no matter where I am. There are opportunities to glorify God. This is a new chance to develop rhythms and patterns that focus around his glory from the get go. I don't know where this is all going... but I just know it was a much bigger shift than I expected!  Here we go. 

Storms

Summer storms... Hot oppressive days that break with power and ferocity and aggression in the evenings. Lightning ripping through the sky, torrents of rain falling in a short period of time, rumbles of thunder. The smell of the steam rising off hot asphalt being cooled by the water. 

In our lives sometimes the same amount of energy builds up that requires a storm to bring release. I was walking through the neighborhood as a storm was rolling through and that hit me. I thank God for the times He allows those storms to happen and bring me back into equilibrium.

A few days later was a simple rainy day. Constant rain from morning until evening. Not intense but light.  It saturated the ground and  brought in cool days with it. I thank God for the times he brings these conditions as well.

I'm grateful he knows whether we need an intense storm to calm a situation. I'm grateful he knows when we need a slow driving range to soak and saturate our souls. I'm grateful for God he uses weather and nature that he created to point to himself.

Bird Songs

 I am listening to the birds chirping and singing outside my window. It is so peaceful, so lovely, so calming. But I also read in Romans 8:19-21 today that, "For the creation eagerly waits with anticipation for God's sons to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to futility- not willingly, because of him who subjected it- in the hope that the creation itself will also be set free from the bondage to decay into the glorious freedom of God's children." The most beautiful scenes, sounds, and scents of nature as we know them are also not functioning fully as designed- but in futility. 

We cannot even imagine the revealed and restored heaven and earth... but I wonder if one day what we knew as beautiful 'bird songs' we will hear as a beautiful symphony of an organized beautiful song we could have never imagined. That the birds will raise their voices together in the most beautiful of songs. As they sang on earth it was all jumbled and the other birds could just not quite get the harmonies right... what we see in part we will be amazed by. Who knows.. but I love that idea...

Animal Names

 I've had lots of thoughts and not good follow through on putting them on paper... I was just watching a video of a rattlesnake and this thought hit me. Adam named allllll the animals in the garden right? Or was man just tasked with that. Because it would be very interesting to one day hear what he named all these animals that we gave other names because we discovered them way later. Or even all the animals that we never knew. 

My friend also blew my mind with the fact that animals recognize and respect the authority that God gave humanity in the created order. They don't look at us and judge if we seem safe or want to pet them. The birds fly away... they run... they fear us. When I forget my inherent worth and the power I have as a daughter of God, let me be reminded by how the animals see us. 

The Vaccine Gospel

 I was listening to a message this morning for church, and this thought struck me. Where we are with COVID and the vaccine is so much like the world's relationship with Jesus. 

We have been through the dark times shaped by fear, the unknown, anxiety, loss, and a lot of other feelings dealing with worry and darkness. That is like the time between the last prophesy and Jesus' arrival on the scene. 

Now we have entered into this phase where there is still darkness but we have a little light. There are some vaccines available and in limited supply being circulated. It is like Jesus when he lived on the earth, restoring freedom and hope from the darkness and fear of the virus to those he touched. But we are limited in that because of supply the same way Jesus was limited when he was here just as a man. At this phase we are so close to the greatest part of the story. When Jesus died, he promised he would be able to come back and be available for everyone through the gift of the Holy Spirit. Let us not lose hope and become less diligent when we are so close to the final freedom like the disciples after Jesus was crucified. 

Then the Holy Spirit came in terms of Jesus being with us all the time to free us from darkness and sin IF we just allow it. That is the stage we will be at soon and the stage the world has been at with Jesus since the very first Easter. We can choose whether to get the vaccine and live protected from the danger of the physical darkness and death caused by the virus in the same way we can choose whether to accept Jesus' life as a vaccine to the spiritual darkness and death.

A Shortcut to Mushrooms...

You know how there are things in this life you are pretty sure you would never do? And I'm not talking about the bad things like murder or rob a bank...just basic things that are outside your lane for the most part. And then one day there you are... you meet someone with an interesting hobby and you are entering a new lane, a new world. 

Well atleast that might happen if you try to leave a little space in your life and start the year off trying to focus on people over efficiency... And keep in mind that relationship is the goal, not a number of miles achieved or books read or some.other arbitrary self- imposed measure.

So that was me this year...  I ended up mushroom foraging the other day and it was so cool! There was a guy who was starting the trail at the same time as myself who is an amateur mycologist. He was kind enough to let me tag along and teach me. (Yes, I gave him the option to go ahead without me in case I was bothering him if you must know)  I love learning from people who are passionate about a topic, but not pushy. And this was his element. And there was alot of walking involved. 

He showed me so much about this fungus that's among us. And it is fascinating!! I was wowed by how God designed everything to fit together perfectly... The diversity in mushrooms for the breaking down of different trees in different stages of decay. Which then feed the creatures of the woods or simply look cool. I learned to identify spores versus gills... That a mushroom colony in Oregon is the largest known living organism, covering acres. Etc. Etc. 

And he even gave me an edible mushroom to try- an oyster mushroom. (Which yes, I cross checked with experts to make sure it was safe) Spoiler alert- it was delicious. 

So this year I hope you have some space in your life for fun and adventure and stepping out of your lane in some way. You learn alot, see a different side of God, and appreciate the diversity of interests we have as people. Shout out to the library for edible mushroom books that fuel the interest flame. 

Turkey tail mushrooms

Oyster mushroom

Don't know this one.... I went out looking on my own

Yum!