...Tear down this wall...

“My Gods not dead he’s surely alive” is a great lyric.  This image came into my mind as I was thinking of all the walls around myself I have been trying to build.  I was thinking how cool it is to have a living God who, while I am building these walls to try and lock myself in for selfish reasons, is living and active.  He didn’t just give me rules and tell me to take it back down while he sits about as a statue doing nothing. He is living and active- he is on the other side of these walls breaking them down so he can get back and help me recover.  I am so thankful I have a God who is pursuing me and with me and breaking through, not just A God who sits around telling me to deconstruct it all  on my own.

Come HERE

“When I say come, you come to where I AM, not where you think I am going.”  I am a (most of the time) proud new-dog owner of a 7-year old border collie.  This is a new dog experience for me as we grew up with a hound dog, so her temperament is very different.  She is by nature a herder.  I have been learning her personality more and more- and one of the funniest things is how she always tries to lead where we are going.  She likes to be with you (right at your feet) and thinks she knows where we are going.  The funny part is usually she gets it all wrong.  I need to go back and grab something (three times) or I turn off into a different room where I wanted to do some cleaning. 

I was trying to get her tied up on her lead so she could run further and explore, so I told her to “Come”- she bolted passed me up the steps as if she knew we were going inside.  Wrong.  I wanted to give her something better.  “Come to where I call you- not where you think we are going.”  I said those words and it struck me as something I absolutely do with God- I try and figure out what the next thing is and meet him there instead of going straight to where He called me.  I try and lead- but He knows where I need to go.  He knows if we forgot a few things and need to go back, or if we need to wait a little bit for a storm to pass, or if there is some organizing that needs to get done. 

So even though it can be frustrating at times, and we have almost tripped and fallen on each other as she runs past your feet, it’s a good reminder of how stubborn and silly I can be.  And how she always comes back to find me, because she would rather be where I am than alone by herself where she thought we were going.  (Exodus 33:15-16)

Stained Glass

I am finishing up a stained glass class where I am making my first big piece!  It is kind of exciting, quite a process! You start with larger pieces of glass and a pattern- you proceed to cut the pieces to match the pattern. It seems simple enough but it is not!  Glass likes to brake in straight lines or where it is weakest (if it has a texture) so it is difficult to get the pieces to match the pattern.  You “Score” a line to show the glass where to break then use plier type tools to break and nibble away until you get your proper shape.  Then you grind the edges with a grinder until it is the right size.  They need to fit almost perfectly to make the design work. The pieces then get wrapped in foil and you solder them together.  That is as far as I have gotten, but we are doing framing and patina and whatever else this coming week.

Anyway- that is all besides the point- I am kind of anal about my art creations, so I planned out my piece to get all the colors exactly where I wanted them before I cut them.  Beautifully spaced colors evenly throughout… you know, “perfect”.  I had larger pieces of glass and I knew what color/texture glass was going to be used for each piece.  Class ended so we had to pack up and like the incredibly graceful lady that I am, I proceeded to drop all of my glass in transit.  My beautiful larger pieces which all had a spot on my pattern were now broken into much smaller pieces than needed.  Some were salvageable, but new glass was needed, new colors, new plan.

You don’t throw out those small pieces though, because they can be used to make mosaics or other smaller more intricate designs (than my beginner piece).  Often times I think that we look at ourselves like this glass.  We idealize the large, unbroken pieces.  They have so much “potential” and have it “all together”, but hanging a large piece of green glass in a window is nowhere near as beautiful as a stained glass piece, with its intricacies and varying colors and designs.  The original bigger piece needs to be cut and shaped… sometimes broken… into smaller pieces that can be used to make a more beautiful creation.  If we don’t let ourselves get shaped and broken down, we might still be “whole”, but we miss out on the beautiful picture and creation that we could be. And my goodness does that process take time!  And patience. And vision. But in the end it is beautiful and worth it.



Update- Finished piece:

Smart Phones

Just got in on this trend this year… only slightly behind the times per usual.  I am still such a noob though- the phone has way more capabilities than I can even imagine, but I’ve barely branched out from what my old phone used to do.  I do utilize me some google maps, social media, email, and spotify but besides that I only use a few other things.  I have one app to practice learning a new language now and one with some math tips and tricks (#nerdalert)! 

It struck me how much we are like these phones- God created us all with these capabilities through conection to Him.  To communicate and have community, staying in touch by many means with people.  We have access to be guided when we don’t know how to get somewhere through GPS or google maps or whatever people use.  To challenge and grow ourselves through learning new languages and other things I don’t even know about- or to get our lives in order with budgets and bank apps.  But the problem is our phones need to be ON and CHARGED to utilize these things. 

If you are lost and want to call for help and get directions- and have this great tool in front of you that could solve these issues, but you didn’t charge it, what use is it?  I feel like we- as proverbial smart phones- often do this.  The one with these answers is so easily accessible and yet we don’t plug into Him and charge ourselves. We run on battery reserve power by our own strength with only the most basic of functions or just shut down completely and go through life blind and anxious.  What would have been something that helps us, stands by useless just waiting to be charged and available.  Plug yourself in! Charging once only last so long, you have to keep recharging that battery.

UPDATE- Good challenge to consider from my friend, what is YOUR charger?  

Sparkle Sparkle!

So I was running (said like Forrest Gump) the other day… I was at a trail where I enjoy running and it was one of those cold beautiful days.  I had finished my run and stopped at the bridge where I was just going to stretch and check out the water below, and there was an otter!  That is irrelevant to my story but was still quite exciting and cute.  Once I started walking back in my cool down to the car I was paying a little closer attention to the ground below me for whatever reason and I noticed that there were tons of little silver specks on the trail that would glitter beautifully when the sun hit off them.  I’ve run here tons of times but for whatever reason- time of day… amount of tree cover… number of people… I don’t know- I had never really noticed them before.  I love things that sparkle and shine so it is odd it never registered with me prior to this run.  As I watched- what I did notice is that the ground was only wonderfully sparkly when the sun was on it… when I passed parts in the shade- no sparkle. 

It dawned on me that we are all like those little silver specks- whatever they are, some type of stone bit.  We are all designed to “sparkle” and “shine” (shine sounds manlier I guess) but we can only do that by reflecting light.  We can’t produce that light on our own- we can only reflect God’s light, and in order to do that we have to be in God’s light.  You can’t reflect light when you are in the darkness- so you have to know you were designed to shine and put yourself in a place where you can shine.  Different people sparkle in different ways and by doing different things (thank goodness we aren’t all the same!), but you can’t in the darkness.  So get out of the darkness and find where you were meant to shine.