It’s gonna be good…

So for those of you who don’t know… I am officially out in Colorado Springs with and engineering internship through Engineering Ministries International (eMi).  It is SO beautiful out here!  I love it…  this is ind of the story of how God led me out here to this point through Matt Wertz’s song “Gonna Be Good”…

I had graduated the previous May 2010 and had been job hunting for the past 10 months while living at home- I had been applying for engineering jobs because that was what I graduated with a degree it but I was lacking the passion to follow that as a career because it seemed “boring”.   I am a very fun-loving and bubbly person who loves bouncing around and getting to know people- so a desk-engineering job was not very inspiring to keep applying for after continuing to get rejected.

Backstory- my faith really took form and root in college through InterVarsity Christian Fellowship and my relationship with Christ has continued to transform my life in so many ways!  So, come January 2011 I applied to go on as a staff worker for IVCF on a college campus- my parents were not very thrilled about this seeing as I would be fundraising when I could be earning so much more as an engineer and supporting others instead of asking for them to support me.  We have never had anyone in our family do missions trips overseas or be a staff worker- support-raising has never been around us until I met this community in college.  At school, I had been a small group leader and part of our student leadership in college- I made so many friendships and I had honestly been leaning on it as that back-up job that I could get because it was where I thrived in college and it came so naturally.  The application was so thorough and I spent a few weeks filling it out- including missing out on half a day of snowboarding- but I felt so strongly that God was walking me through each question, all my thoughts and my answers.  My references all seemed so positive that I was a shoe-in for the job, but after rejection from jobs that I had seemed so perfect for I was a little wary… I got an interview in February. When I got to the interview I felt so at peace throughout the entire thing and knew that I gave them all the answers God was putting on my heart-  there is nothing I would change if I could.  A few days later I found out I was not going to be offered the position for a reason that made little sense to myself or anyone who knew me- but instead of dwelling on it I spent that time thanking God for the opportunity and fully confident that this is where God wanted me because I had given each step to Him- the big question that remained was what the heck comes next?!  This was my “safety” and it is gone- you have bigger plans for me God but what are they?!

I found this out last week of February as I started a part time babysitting job to bring in some money for student loans.  I reconsidered the fact that God met me while I was in school for engineering and wanted to use me there and open my narrow viewpoint as I read 1 Corinthians 7:17 (Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches).  I also knew that I wanted to serve wherever I was and use my skills and abilities that He had first given me to glorify Him.  Some of my college friends had done this thing called “Engineering Ministries International”… a mix of engineering and architects AND serving God….  The deadline for this application was March 25 which was 10 days after the new Matt Wertz cd Weights and Wings came out and I had started listening to it alot… I was immediately drawn to and LOVED “Gonna be Good”- especially as I started to realize how very true and real it was about my life…

The lyrics:

Think about this


What if all your plans just feel right into place


Would you be better then?


Was it the brokenness that built you


The emptiness that filled you


Or the times you couldn't get away

Let that trouble have its way

If all my plans had just fallen right into place I would not have appreciated them or relied on God in them at all even though I would have liked to say I was- I had been following my agenda with the guise that I was letting God lead me… but deep down I was still doing what I wanted.  If my plans had happened I would be in such a worse position- it has been so much better through the brokenness of being rejected, and in that emptiness giving control over to God instead.  I am so thankful and praise God for all the seeming “let-downs” in this hunt because it prepared me for the engineering internship that I was offered this summer and loved and to apply to be an EMI intern this fall.

As I listened to the song it really helped solidify that I was there- at that exact place because I was being built into the person I needed to be for whatever the future held before me. 

It's gotta get worse before it gets good


I know it ain't easy nor need it should


Don't hide away of what you have to do

The past months had not been easy- things kept getting worse as I continued to be rejected from other jobs, but having it easy was not what would have grown me the most- and it couldn’t have been easy to get me where I am now.  The last line of the song was my conviction to step forward and apply- don’t hide away from what you have to do…  I had been hiding from engineering… hiding from those gifts and the place where God really wanted me.  I reached a point where I knew He was calling me to serve overseas in some capacity and to use engineering- and this was it.  I applied and after a few days of meetings and conversations with my family, pastor, and friends accepted the fall internship!  I am out in Colorado Springs right now- I started the internship last week and will be going to Guatemala for my first overseas missions trip to help design a boy’s home in Zaragoza to get them out of the cities and out of the grasp of gangs and violence with the hope of teaching them life skills and about Jesus.  I am so excited and have been growing so much in this first fundraising experience seeing God meet and provide in ways I could have never expected- amazing me with how big He is and how His people love and support His missions.  In the hard times and when I have been tempted to fear and doubt this position and my mission in it the chorus speaks so loudly to me:

I wanna see you what you're made of

Get up and fight you know you should

Try- there's nothing you should be afraid of

I'd take your place if I could

This ain’t safe but it's gonna be good

No matter what seems to be pulling me down and trying to pull me away from the mighty plans God has for me- it is a reminder of God’s call to fight for Him and to love Him even greater because perfect love casts out all fear.  He never guaranteed us safety- just like C.S. Lewis’ Mr. Beaver said in the Lion, Witch, & the Wardrobe-  “Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”  And that is right where I want to be- following my King!  SO that is where I am am now J

Thank you to Mr. Wertz for following God in the songs he writes and the way he uses his skills as an amazing witness and encouragement from God.