The Bridge Master’s Son

At the church I have been attending here in Colorado, they showed this short video clip this past Sunday before we took communion.  It is about a man who works as a bridge master for a railroad line- the person who is in charge or raising and lowering the train bridges- who represents God, and his son who represents Jesus.  Here is a link to the you tube video if you would like to watch:

Watching it was so powerful for me- being able to see the loving act that God made in the sacrifice of His son in a way that was very real.  The son who represented Jesus loved the people on the trains- each of them in their broken selves; none of them seemingly deserved any of that love- they were broken, angry, lonely, selfish, and addicted, just as we all are.  They all had their own problems and were far from perfect yet the son loved them EXACTLY that way, not because they acted like they had it all together- just because of who they are.  This is exactly how Jesus loves us… and that is why the son saw the need so desperate to get the bridge down and save the people on the train. 

Both the Father and the son saw the impending death as a result of the train crash- the same way that the penalty for our sin is death.  The son runs to put the bridge down manually and as he does so he falls into the gears and the father is now placed with a choice- sacrifice the entire train to save His son or sacrifice his son to save the entire train. 

Jesus chose to be that sacrifice for us because he loves us- just like that boy loved the people on the trains.  That is so beautiful and I feel like that is usually where I put my focus in the message of redemption, but what I usually don’t think about is the sacrifice that came on God’s behalf.  Seeing that struggle and pain of the bridge master as God really moved me.  All of the people drive by on the tracks oblivious to the sacrifice that was just made to save their lives- just as so many people go through their lives on the earth oblivious to the sacrifice that God made in giving up his son so that they may be saved and have eternal life.  So many of those people he saved on the train will go back to their selfish, lonely, angry, empty lives and never even acknowledge him and yet he still gave his son to save them.  How amazing is that?  That is how loved we are-

“You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.  Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Romans 5:6-8

Guatemala UPdate!!

The Guatemala project trip to design the Rancho Engadi Boy's Home is rapidly approaching!  Our trip is going to be from October 6th-15th.  We will be going down to the site, surveying the lands, meeting the ministry and some the kids already involved in the programs, and start with our design for home. This is the facebook page for the Engadi Ministries if you want to learn more! http://facebook.com/EngadiMinistries/. We have a team of 8: Andy our project leader, 5 volunteers (2 civil engineers, 2 architects, and one architectural engineer), and 2 interns (myself and Janine).   

Janine and me at the mini golf entrance

I have gotten to know Andy and Janine pretty well from working in the office together, as well as lots of hang out time with Janine.  I am really excited to work on Andy's team- he was a missionary kid who grew up in Zambia.  He has an amazing heart for serving God and reaching the unreached people around the world.  Janine is wonderful too- she was born in El Salvador and moved to the US in 2000 and speaks fluently in both Spanish and English.  She is so funny and we get along really well- she is really helping me work on my Spanish too.  We have had some really good conversations and I feel like God has definitely brought us together to be great friends in such a short time.  I think it is so cool that each of us come from such different upbringings and backgrounds and get to work together as a team.  Janine also invited me after our time in Guatemala to go and visit her family in El Salvador for a few days.  I am so excited!  This is going to be her first time back since moving in 2000 and she is really excited to see her family.  I am really excited to get to experience El Salvador with her and through the eyes of it being her home.

Please be praying for our entire team as we all are preparing to go serve and our unity as we all come together for the first time on the way to Guatemala...for Engadi Ministries and all the work they are already doing and will continue to do in the boys lives in Guatemala... and for our project work to go smoothly once we get there so that the home can become a reality as soon as possible!

Thank you for all your support, thoughts and prayers!!!

Engadi Ministries Intl.

Engadi is dedicated to ending the of death and violence in Guatemala City one child at a time. Boys from impoverished, broken homes too often seek purpose, belonging and a reason for living in the gangs. These gangs are the roots of the most severe problems in the communities including drugs, extortion, and violence. Driven by God’s vision, Engadi will build homes where these boys can grow into strong men of God who value family, love God and have the resources to reach their professional goals.

Finally! An emi update!

So I have been in Colorado for about one month now- wow!  The first eight days I was here we had orientation for Engineering Ministries International (eMi) with the 28 interns for the fall semester and 2 longer term staff volunteers for all the offices around the world (Colorado Springs USA, Canada, Middle East/North Africa, Costa Rica, Uganda, and India).  It was so great getting to know and meet everyone- it is crazy how well we all connected as design professionals serving God around the world.  I met some really amazing people and it was such a blessing to get to hear everyone’s 7-minute testimonies on the final Friday we were together.  It was bittersweet to see everyone leave at the end of orientation because I made some really good friendships with people who are now all over the world- so it is sad because we are not together anymore but I am so happy they are serving God in those places. 

Following orientation we started our time at the Colorado Springs office and I finally got to move into the apartment where I am staying- it is quite cute and homey and I really love my host Jeni.  She is an event planner for Focus on the Family, pretty laid back and lots of fun.  We have roommate bonding nights on Tuesdays- her, Elena (my roommate) and myself.  The first week in the office was a lot of orientation, learning where everything is, and getting acquainted with the programs used in the office.  There are nine interns in Colorado Springs for the fall (boys: Mike, Seth, Ben, Stephen, and Jay and girls: Janae, Janine, Elena, and myself) so we do a lot of things together- however we won’t all be together again until the end of October because different project trips are coming and returning until October 28^th.  

The Colorado Springs and Canadian office interns after mini-golfing.

One thing that is a blessing is starting each day with a devotion from an office member and then pray for the upcoming projects, other offices, and some personal matters.  It is pretty cool that we get to pray together as an office- and on Fridays we have a time for worship as well so some people play instruments and we all sing.  On Fridays the interns also help serve at a local soup kitchen run by Catholic Charities called the Marian House.  This is really cool because we get to help serve the Colorado Springs community while serving at eMi- and after we help with the food we get to sit and eat at the tables with the people there.  I have been blessed to have some really good conversations with a man named Cain and a lady named Cyndi.

This is my desk with an umbrella over it because the roof leaks when it rains a lot.

In the office we are now helping our project leaders with finishing up older projects and preparing everything for our upcoming project trips.  Learning AutoCAD for the projects has been very challenging sometimes but I have been getting a lot better.  My trip leader’s name is Andy and my fellow intern for the Guatemala project is named Janine.  I love working with both of them.   Janine and I have grown very close which is a gift from God and really exciting.  She was born in El Salvador and moved to Houston when she was 13- she is really funny and we have a lot of laughs with some of the ways she messes up English words. 

For our Guatemala trip, we have officially gotten the team together and the trip packets sent out with the airline tickets ordered!  Our trip is going to be from October 6-15^th and we will have a team of eight, including Andy, Janine, and myself.  We are the last of the project trips to leave from our office this fall, so I keep getting more and more excited as the other trips have been leaving.  The more I learn about the Guatemala trip the more excited I am getting! 

Last weekend we climbed Pike’s Peak which is a 14,115 foot mountain by Colorado Springs.  It was so much more intense than my typical east coast hiking. But at the top there was a restaurant with donuts so that helped give me motivation to get there.  It was so pretty and as I look at my pictures, I am sad to say that none of them do it justice. 

This is me climbing!  There was ice and snow at the top!

Ok, that is my update for now, I will try and keep up wit what is going much better than I have been and try to elaborate on more of the amazing things God has been doing!   

Sept. 11 2011

'MEET ME IN THE STAIRWELL'

You say you will never forget where you were when you heard the news On September 11, 2001. Neither will I.

I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room with a man who called his wife to say 'Good-Bye.' I held his fingers steady as he dialed. I gave him the peace to say, 'Honey, I am not going to make it, but it is OK..I am ready to go.'

I was with his wife when he called as she fed breakfast to their children. I held her up as she tried to understand his words and as she realized he wasn't coming home that night.

I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when a woman cried out to Me for help. 'I have been knocking on the door of your heart for 50 years!' I said. 'Of course I will show you the way home - only believe in Me now.'

I was at the base of the building with the Priest ministering to the injured and devastated souls. I took him home to tend to his Flock in Heaven. He heard my voice and answered.

I was on all four of those planes, in every seat, with every prayer. I was with the crew as they were overtaken. I was in the very hearts of the believers there, comforting and assuring them that their faith has saved them.

I was in Texas , Virginia , California , Michigan , Afghanistan . I was standing next to you when you heard the terrible news. Did you sense Me?

I want you to know that I saw every face. I knew every name - though not all know Me. Some met Me for the first time on the 86th floor.

Some sought Me with their last breath. Some couldn't hear Me calling to them through the smoke and flames; 'Come to Me... this way... take my hand.' Some chose, for the final time, to ignore Me. But, I was there.

I did not place you in the Tower that day. You may not know why, but I do. However, if you were there in that explosive moment in time, would you have reached for Me?

Sept. 11, 2001, was not the end of the journey for you. But someday your journey will end. And I will be there for you as well. Seek Me now while I may be found. Then, at any moment, you know you are 'ready to go.'

I will be in the stairwell of your final moments.

Today marks the tenth anniversary of September 11^th, a huge day in the history of our nation and the world.  I heard this poem on the radio this morning and it really resonated with me.  Regardless of what you see the events as- all of us were affected in some way, be it directly or indirectly.  Some people lost a friend or a family member, some lost their sense of security, some gave their lives for a cause they believed in, and others may have rejoiced.  Each person had their own reactions to the events- but regardless of our thoughts and responses the truth behind it is that there were thousands of people that day faced with eternity.  Their life ended here, and took the next step towards their life in eternity.  As the poem says, some like the priest continued in their walk, obeying God and leading His people, others like the lady in the stairwell accepted him for the first time and were forgiven and taken into heaven with Him, while some chose to ignore Him for the final time. 

I realized we all have events in our lives that shake our security and our way of thinking, be it someone dying in a car crash to something huge like September 11.  Hearing the poem I couldn’t help but relate it to the events of Virginia Tech on April 16, 2007.  Each and every one of us will have an end to our journey- we do not know when or what our ending will be, but we will all be faced with eternity.  Eternity doesn’t begin once this life is over… it has already begun.  I hope that at any time I will be “ready to go” recognizing that “Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; 
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.” (Psalm 84:10)  

It’s gonna be good…

So for those of you who don’t know… I am officially out in Colorado Springs with and engineering internship through Engineering Ministries International (eMi).  It is SO beautiful out here!  I love it…  this is ind of the story of how God led me out here to this point through Matt Wertz’s song “Gonna Be Good”…

I had graduated the previous May 2010 and had been job hunting for the past 10 months while living at home- I had been applying for engineering jobs because that was what I graduated with a degree it but I was lacking the passion to follow that as a career because it seemed “boring”.   I am a very fun-loving and bubbly person who loves bouncing around and getting to know people- so a desk-engineering job was not very inspiring to keep applying for after continuing to get rejected.

Backstory- my faith really took form and root in college through InterVarsity Christian Fellowship and my relationship with Christ has continued to transform my life in so many ways!  So, come January 2011 I applied to go on as a staff worker for IVCF on a college campus- my parents were not very thrilled about this seeing as I would be fundraising when I could be earning so much more as an engineer and supporting others instead of asking for them to support me.  We have never had anyone in our family do missions trips overseas or be a staff worker- support-raising has never been around us until I met this community in college.  At school, I had been a small group leader and part of our student leadership in college- I made so many friendships and I had honestly been leaning on it as that back-up job that I could get because it was where I thrived in college and it came so naturally.  The application was so thorough and I spent a few weeks filling it out- including missing out on half a day of snowboarding- but I felt so strongly that God was walking me through each question, all my thoughts and my answers.  My references all seemed so positive that I was a shoe-in for the job, but after rejection from jobs that I had seemed so perfect for I was a little wary… I got an interview in February. When I got to the interview I felt so at peace throughout the entire thing and knew that I gave them all the answers God was putting on my heart-  there is nothing I would change if I could.  A few days later I found out I was not going to be offered the position for a reason that made little sense to myself or anyone who knew me- but instead of dwelling on it I spent that time thanking God for the opportunity and fully confident that this is where God wanted me because I had given each step to Him- the big question that remained was what the heck comes next?!  This was my “safety” and it is gone- you have bigger plans for me God but what are they?!

I found this out last week of February as I started a part time babysitting job to bring in some money for student loans.  I reconsidered the fact that God met me while I was in school for engineering and wanted to use me there and open my narrow viewpoint as I read 1 Corinthians 7:17 (Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches).  I also knew that I wanted to serve wherever I was and use my skills and abilities that He had first given me to glorify Him.  Some of my college friends had done this thing called “Engineering Ministries International”… a mix of engineering and architects AND serving God….  The deadline for this application was March 25 which was 10 days after the new Matt Wertz cd Weights and Wings came out and I had started listening to it alot… I was immediately drawn to and LOVED “Gonna be Good”- especially as I started to realize how very true and real it was about my life…

The lyrics:

Think about this


What if all your plans just feel right into place


Would you be better then?


Was it the brokenness that built you


The emptiness that filled you


Or the times you couldn't get away

Let that trouble have its way

If all my plans had just fallen right into place I would not have appreciated them or relied on God in them at all even though I would have liked to say I was- I had been following my agenda with the guise that I was letting God lead me… but deep down I was still doing what I wanted.  If my plans had happened I would be in such a worse position- it has been so much better through the brokenness of being rejected, and in that emptiness giving control over to God instead.  I am so thankful and praise God for all the seeming “let-downs” in this hunt because it prepared me for the engineering internship that I was offered this summer and loved and to apply to be an EMI intern this fall.

As I listened to the song it really helped solidify that I was there- at that exact place because I was being built into the person I needed to be for whatever the future held before me. 

It's gotta get worse before it gets good


I know it ain't easy nor need it should


Don't hide away of what you have to do

The past months had not been easy- things kept getting worse as I continued to be rejected from other jobs, but having it easy was not what would have grown me the most- and it couldn’t have been easy to get me where I am now.  The last line of the song was my conviction to step forward and apply- don’t hide away from what you have to do…  I had been hiding from engineering… hiding from those gifts and the place where God really wanted me.  I reached a point where I knew He was calling me to serve overseas in some capacity and to use engineering- and this was it.  I applied and after a few days of meetings and conversations with my family, pastor, and friends accepted the fall internship!  I am out in Colorado Springs right now- I started the internship last week and will be going to Guatemala for my first overseas missions trip to help design a boy’s home in Zaragoza to get them out of the cities and out of the grasp of gangs and violence with the hope of teaching them life skills and about Jesus.  I am so excited and have been growing so much in this first fundraising experience seeing God meet and provide in ways I could have never expected- amazing me with how big He is and how His people love and support His missions.  In the hard times and when I have been tempted to fear and doubt this position and my mission in it the chorus speaks so loudly to me:

I wanna see you what you're made of

Get up and fight you know you should

Try- there's nothing you should be afraid of

I'd take your place if I could

This ain’t safe but it's gonna be good

No matter what seems to be pulling me down and trying to pull me away from the mighty plans God has for me- it is a reminder of God’s call to fight for Him and to love Him even greater because perfect love casts out all fear.  He never guaranteed us safety- just like C.S. Lewis’ Mr. Beaver said in the Lion, Witch, & the Wardrobe-  “Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”  And that is right where I want to be- following my King!  SO that is where I am am now J

Thank you to Mr. Wertz for following God in the songs he writes and the way he uses his skills as an amazing witness and encouragement from God.

Rest day 2011

-- started this in feb, just fixed it up --

Rest day is a day of providing rest to the parents of disabled children.  Our d-team (high-school girls group I help lead) served.  I had such an awesome group of kids and it was a lot of fun- a truly humbling experience.  I worked with two little boys who were twins…  they were so quick to trust and hold hands and sit on my lap.  One on each leg- it was quite a workout for me!  Their closeness to me was very surprising, I will say I totally was not expecting it and it caught me off guard…  I love the way children challenge us to trust and see the good in all people.

Our group also had other children, one boy who was blind and not developed mentally… another little girl who was the sibling of a volunteer… but the kid who stuck out most to me was Max (I changed it because I don’t want talk about him online without his parents permission).

Max has KIDs syndrome which meant he had a skin deficiency and was deaf.  Max did have cochlear implants so that he could hear a little, but not very well.   He had no hair really either but this little thing had such an amazing spirit!  I didn’t notice him until the rumble room- this was where the kids could just run around and kick balls and jump on things.  That is where I saw his joy exude—the way he ran around and found such fun in everything and loved it all- he played with whoever was closest by- he didn’t regard anyone as a “better or worse playmate”…. he was so eager to have fun- he would laugh and squeal with excitement!

It made me think of what I had prayed earlier- praying that if God wanted He could heal them all immediately but he has a unique and definite purpose in the way he designed us all.  I started thinking how different Max would be if he were just “normal”.  He would have a lot less joy- he would have been so much calmer and more aware of how he was being perceived by the other kids and the volunteers…. Of everything!

It made me think about Christians as followers of God and how something the world sees as a handicap is actually more freeing.  A lot of people look at Christianity and sees rules that “restrict” and “handicap” you from living a “happy life” but we live a much freer life instead- free to live it as it was intended and free from sin through forgiveness in Christ.  It was the same way with Max… we see a handicap but to him it isn’t at all- it is who he is.  He has so much joy in who he was designed to be and therefore in everything around him…. The limits he has don’t hold him back but they free him to a much greater joy than a lot of us experience because we become to aware of what others think. We can look at Max’s as an example of how to live our own lives as followers of Christ.  Embrace who you are and find joy in what you have, not in what you lack; live out that joy in Christ without fear of judgment from men- God is your judge; don’t waste time figuring out what other people are thinking or doing, be yourself because you are beautiful! Though we seemed disabled we are so much freer that we could ever be without Christ’s sacrifice!

Thank you for how you uniquely designed each of us- and help us live out our faith boldly and freely!

My sister is an entomologist minor...

For those of you who don’t know what entomology is- it is the study of insects.  Some days it is really cool and entertaining that she is an entomology minor; it is kind of hilarious that our family know the scientific of some insects and refers to flies as “pesky diptera!”  It is so great to hear her excitement as she examines the bugs by our front door as we walk in at night.  However, some days it isn’t too exciting… mainly just today.   Why you might ask?  As part of her minor in entomology my sister needs to have an insect collection with specific species.  The latest she has needed are beetles- not a punch buggy beetle… or a cute little ladybug… but dung beetles- a beetle that eats poop.  Mmmm!  Unfortunately my mom is equally as excited about the insect collection and was with me when I was picking up some dog poop in the backyard of the dog I am watching.  It was a horrifying discovery when I realized that it was moving in my plastic bag wrapped  hands!  I was disgusted… I tied the bag and was ready to be done with that.  My mom- hearing my disgust excitedly asked if they were dung beetles.  Oh no was my thought… I told her that we could just tie the bag and send it to my sister because I did not want to look through it and find a beetle… but I lost.  My mom convinced me (after I found out where my sister got the carrion beetle from) to get a stick and long story short now my sister has a dung beetle for her collection….

But it got me thinking, and you all probably are thinking how disgusting this story was, about how these beetles are just like God in our lives.  Dung beetles feed primarily on feces, and if they didn’t think how much crap would be piled up all over the place because it would just sit there.  We think poop is gross and disgusting but let us rewind a bit.  Poop for the most part starts out as food- as intake- as a wonderful meal, think of your favorite food and how delicious it is and how much happiness it brings you.  It is just like so many of the gifts God created and shares with us…  but when this food enters our bodies it goes through this digestive process and comes out looking nothing like what it started as(except corn of course :P).  But seriously, isn’t that like a lot of the good and perfect things God has created to share with us?  He created sex and alcohol, but when they get into some human hands they are twisted away from God’s design and turned into “poop”- looking nothing like what God designed them as.  Even something good like art can be twisted when it is used to bring glory to the artist and not the creator of the artist- so many things are twisted into “poop”.

However, God is there in the midst of the poop we create… where nothing else wants to be, where other people avoid… in the middle of our crap he is there to help us- He helps us work through and get rid of the mess we create.  He doesn’t say- you did this, you ruined my creation- but instead enters into the beautiful thing we messed up so he can help us get it back to the beautiful thing it once was because he is the one that knows its true design. 

Apparently a dung beetle will roll away its ball in a “straight line despite  all obstacles”.  Is that not SO like God?  He knows the path- it isn’t a winding path, but the straight and narrow and he is going to lead us to his truth, despite all obstacles.  I just think it is so cool how even the seemingly grossest of things points to how magnificent and glorious He is!  And if we don’t let God into our crap…. It will just pile and pile up, because there is no one else who is willing to deal with all of it like he is…