I have had this thought for awhile and just been terrible at finally putting it down in writing. In the lenten quest of trying to deal with area of bitterness and figuring out how to navigate those difficult waters, I feel like I have made little headway.
The longer I am alive, the more opportunities I have to be cranky with people- either for something they did, or didn't do, how they made me feel, lots of things. Some judgements completely my fault, some things that really were intentionally mean or hurtful, some things that weren't meant to be good or bad but just messed up my plans or that were mis-interpreted. I am a mess! Are we all like this?
It has been an amazing reminder of my need for constant grace and Jesus' saving as we approach Easter. Even spending this time focussing on how to give up bitterness, it feels futile. I know I will get to Easter and still struggle with being bitter towards things and people. The only way I will have a clean slate is by the forgiveness I received from him paying the penalty for my sins and struggles- and it makes me appreciate it all the more.
The one thing I have become aware of is the bitterness onset- so that will help. Starting to recognize situations and feelings that are leading me towards bitterness- recognizing I am on a journey and bitterness is like a bear trap. So I can be walking along my path and bitterness is on the way like a bear trap- I can recognize I am bee lining right towards it and go around it, or walk right into it and get hurt. Maybe one day I will get better at disabling the bear trap, but for now identifying and not stepping on it will be a good start!
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