The struggle is real.

So I have been avoiding this post because I just feel so pathetic... After the coffee incident things went downhill in a picnic basket. I have had some victories that we should celebrate, including when my co-workers decided to have an Oreo taste test for like two or three days with all different flavors, that I said no to successfully... I love Oreos. And their new food of the day item on the table, it's always super tempting... Saying no to prosciutto and fried rice... I've been really good at avoiding bread and desserts and a lot of things but I have broadened my taste spectrum beyond my seven items.

Despite some sweet victories, I have also given in a lot also, mainly just in broadening the amount of vegetables I can have because I'm thinking I may have done a bad job picking them. I am still making conscious choices, like this weekend being on the road for a camping weekend. I chose the chicken item but sometimes I'd have the chicken on a salad or if they don't have broccoli or sweet potatoes or avocados as a side picking a vegetable instead of sweet delicious French fries.

The flesh and spirit are weak. Food might definitely be a problem area in this girl's life. Ugh. Then talk about conviction, this was in my Navigators devotion yesterday morning:

"For one thing, they despised the food God gave them and longed for the leeks and garlic of Egypt. By that act, they claimed they knew better than God what was good for them. God was fulfilling His promise to feed them, but they wanted a more interesting menu. Pride and rebellion became a way of life as they doubted God’s power and ridiculed His wisdom. They were constant grumblers because God did not always grant their desires. That was Israel’s sin."

I don't want to be like that, but I am! I can no longer read about Exodus and question how the Israelites turned away from God when he was leading them and feeding them daily, when I'm experiencing the same thing!! Ugh! I am just so weak and prideful and I don't know what to do.

And right now, it's nighttime, I'm hungry, I would have eaten dessert or something like that but I don't want to eat any of the food I have. I'd rather just sit here hungry... This sucks.

God's design of taste buds and the varieties of flavors and all of that is such a gift.