Both and...

The last two weeks I have been mulling over this idea that Oswald Chambers calls out in his devotional "My Utmost for His Highest". The idea that kept repeating is spontaneity and how love is spontaneous. (Here is the link to one of them: Spontaneous Love) The definition of spontaneous (adjective) is as follows:

1. performed or occurring as a result of a sudden inner impulse or inclination and without premeditation or external stimulus

It was pretty convicting as I realized I have gotten more into the habit of planning my 'fun' and 'loving' times around my own schedule, attitude, and feelings. Instead of letting them happen naturally, I was eliminating spontaneity with the goal of manufacturing a time for a feeling and a vibe. Ew! That is so gross! It is the opposite of loving; it is forced, can be fake, and is probably hurtful to those on the receiving end. In order to make sure it was there, instead of letting it happen spontaneously, I tried to control it and force it to occur within a certain window. 

That takes away so much of the beauty of love. I am not saying it is not good to set aside intentional times with God and our loved ones, just that those times should not be the only source of them receiving love and attention from us. They need to know they are loved outside of just those scheduled moments. And it hit me, we simultaneously need to be disciplined in order to be spontaneous. A 'both and' situation. The definition of disciplined (adjective) is as follows:

1. showing a controlled form of behavior or way of working.

They are opposites so it seems so counterintuitive that both need to work together. I can be at either extreme, but to hold both simultaneously seems so strange. The quotes from the devotional this morning that made that ring clear were, 

"The right thing to do with godly habits is to immerse them in the life of the Lord until they become such a spontaneous expression of our lives that we are no longer aware of them...Your god may be your little Christian habit— the habit of prayer or Bible reading at certain times of your day. Watch how your Father will upset your schedule if you begin to worship your habit instead of what the habit symbolizes...Love means that there are no visible habits— that your habits are so immersed in the Lord that you practice them without realizing it." 

In order for us to love spontaneously, we need to practice the discipline of healthy habits. Habits that cannot become our own god or justification in themselves, but that are crucial to our growth. Habits that become part of who we are. We need to be spontaneous in how we feel and respond in love, but also have a lifestyle formed by discipline and habits that helps us be able to go deeper in relationship. Those disciplines and habits cannot become our god, causing us to write off and avoid spontaneity because we have to give up or control. It is both and, like God. Alpha AND Omega. Beginning AND end. Here's to balance!