It is the same walk I have been taking every morning during my quarantine work week. I start the day with a lap around the block praying for the day. The only difference today was that Tuesday I did that walk barefoot.
It was not intentional, but more just from a place of defeat. My morning had an abrupt start when my car geek neighbor decided to (obnoxiously I feel...) work on his motorcycle at 6:30 am, so the sounds of a weak motor started my day (imagine hammering type sound every couple minutes). Then as I was preparing my iced coffee, the glass pitcher fell out of the fridge and broke, spilling coffee and glass shards all around my feet. The "early" head start Mr. Motorcycle had given me was spent with a trash bag, paper towels, and a broom. Which really worked to magnify the Cinderella-type house-working feelings that are apparently bubbling deep within me. Then the morning routine was thrown off as my roommate came up and started using the kitchen (which is fine, it is just the only day that has happened in weeks so it through my morning routine off) so I defeatedly grabbed what was unspilled of my coffee and headed outside without shoes. It was the perfect storm of a morning.
I just went for it, barefoot. While I do love being barefoot, this was not about enjoyment purposes. What I found as I walked without shoes is that you walk slower and more deliberately. Pretty much every step is calculated and felt. You pay much more attention to what lies ahead and what could go wrong. Whereas with my shoes on every other morning, I feel far more protected. I just go for it, I am not looking for small pieces of glass or stones along the way. Even the way my foot strikes the ground is different. Which lines up, because when I have on field boots, I feel pretty invincible.
While I am not in a position to personally speak to this, what I am doing is trying understand and learn. From my friends and trusted voices I have been seeking out during the past months and Blackout Tuesday, it seems the barefoot walk is one my brothers and sisters of color make everyday. They don't have the luxury of feeling protected and like they can go where they want at the speed they want. They need to be careful, thoughtful, and deliberate in their steps and in route. Even walking the same route, they are more aware of the danger that does not hold the shoed foot back. And this revelation is something I want to hold and respect about our journeys in all my interactions.
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