Abundance

This is a word I am working on. I love abundance, but the abundance I love is usually one I create. As I meditate on this word, what I have realized is I am far less of a fan of trusting in God's abundance. I think I know what I want or what I will want in the future, and I like to provide plenty of it so as not to run out. Easy access to craft supplies, project materials, ingredients, clothes, etc. Even if I am getting them on sale or secondhand, that is alot of effort, time, money, and space put into creating a safety net of abundance around me so as not to feel the squeeze of 'not enough'.  I plan to keep enough so I won't be in need and I see people using or taking my stuff as a threat to my calculated abundance.

What I have been coming to notice is it is of fear and not trusting God (at least for me). Instead of believing the smaller amount will be enough and letting God meet me with the rest, I push Him out of the equation. Instead of freely giving as someone asks, I question how my giving will impact my future supplies. What I have been realizing in quarantine as I step back from the ability to provide exactly what I want or need, is there is room for creativity. In the lack of everything I think I want, I have way more than enough. I buy far more than I need out of a desire to control my circumstances. It is so silly, everything I have came from Him in the first place. He has already given me abundantly, but I stole the credit and took away my own resources by spending too much on myself.

So this is me letting you know, I have been working on my attitude of trust and giving out of the desire to trust God and his abundance; believing He will provide everything I need, not myself.