diVINE

Luke 8:5-15  
“A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds ate it up.  Some fell on rocky ground, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown.”

When he said this, he called out, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.”

 His disciples asked him what this parable meant. He said, “The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of God has been given to you, but to others I speak in parables, so that,

“‘though seeing, they may not see;
    though hearing, they may not understand.’[a]

“This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved.  Those on the rocky ground are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away.  The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature.  But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop."

I love coming back to this parable time and again.  I love how many agricultural parables and analogies Jesus uses- because plants and people are both things that live and grow.  We can learn a lot from the simple design of plants and how there are a lot of similarities between spiritual growth and plant growth.  I was reminded of this walking along a trail recently.  As summer is coming, the underbrush is leafing out- and what once were clear view paths in the winter are revealing their vibrant leafy views instead.  I think I tend to look past it all usually- but the detail of the woods was more recently put on my heart.  What I usually notice are the trees- they are steadfast, established, tall... they stand out.  What God brought to my attention is all that is on the ground surrounding them... vines, understory bushes and scrubbiness, plants growing into one another where it isn't sure where one ends and the next begins.  

It brought me back to this parable- where the goal is to become a well established, well rooted, growing plant.  But each of those trees that are so tall now once started as a tiny seed which came to that location somehow, it took root and it grew.  It overcame the plants surrounding it- was able to get its required water and nutrients- and it grew.  It didn't get that big over night- but over a lifetime.  BUT just because it was in good soil and reached a certain point did not mean it was smooth sailing.  Still there are vines that grow and try and tear it down even after its established.  And some trees do get taken down by such vines.  It is a constant battle even in a place that seems so serene and peaceful- but looking at these tall pillars, these trees; it is also an encouragement to continue to fight and not let yourself be overcome by all the things around you that would try to tear you down and take away from your life and your goals.  I would rather be a tree seeking and reaching towards the divine, than a vine that tangles and can tear down. I am glad God gives us nature to reveal such complexities of human life in a simple, visible nature lesson.

Tendrils

I really like that word- something delicate and soft.  In this particular case, the tendril of a growing pea plant.  My peas are growing!!  I love how everything about the garden and growth points to God and was used in many of the parables Jesus shared.

Peas can either be bush peas or vine peas.  Bush pea plants grow, yes you guessed it, like a bush.  Vine pea plants need something to grow on.  My peas turned out to be vine peas.  I was a little slow getting a growing surface to them and they started growing along the ground towards one another.  They were just creeping along sideways until they found something they could grow along.  Unfortunately, they found each other instead of a growing surface, and their delicate little tendrils, started wrapping around one another.

I strung some chicken wire across and separated them from each other, starting to help weave them up the wire so they could grow upwards.

I feel like these little pea plants reflect my heart- just sticking little tendrils out looking for something firm and steady to grow upon.  I have been reaching out to other things- be it peplum things, performance, etc, but my tendrils strangle and suffocate those things because they were not meant to support me leaving me on the ground. And in all that I have held them back from growing.

What I am really looking for is a strong, reliable support.  This is a beautiful reminder for me to stop reaching out for people and things, fellow pea plants, to be my support and allow myself to be redirected to the strong support and foundation that God is for us all.

Crappy Soil

The other week I was noticing the top soil I had bought for my garden wasn't looking too hot.  Growing season is approaching and I am getting excited about the potential crop yield I can have- however if my soil is crappy, my plants won't grow well, and then I won't have many delicious backyard vegetables.  This is a big year for my crops- I doubled my growing area and have already overbooked the limited space with plants I hope to grow.

From a book I was reading (listening to really as it was on CD), I learned that adding horse manure can really help boost the nutrients and quality of the soil.  I received some back-up confirmation from a few people and an ad on craigslist offering to deliver horse manure.  Fortunately I have a horse manure hookup via a friend with horses who was kind enough to let me drive over and load the truck up for free.  My manure fork got to live up to it's namesake and my Muck boots felt like they were at home.  I dug up my rock hard top soil and mixed in the new horse manure.  It was exciting to see that some worms and already taken up residence in my future garden.

It was a lot of work- it was messy- and  a lot less smelly than I was anticipating (and kind of hoping for some weird reason).  But I am excited at the prospect of what will grow and use the organic material that was added.  I realized as I was laying awake praying for hearts to be like the "good soil" from the parable in Luke 8:4-15, that in order to make what appears to be normal dirt a good growing place, you gotta mix in some crap!  My initial dirt was pretty crappy- but by adding some actual crap, and  making it "crappier", it is preparing to make be a fertile place for seeds to be planted and grow.

The crap being mixed in is making it a good place for God's seeds to be planted and grow. So for those of you going through some "crappy" times, I am not trying to diminish them nor the pain and the difficulty you are facing, but know that they might be part of the mix for something to grow and flourish where it could not do so before.  I know that I am excited and hopeful for the harvest that might be coming and have a new appreciation for the crappy times that will inevitably come and for the crap that has already been mixed into the soil of my heart and my life, painful and hard at the time, but creating a better place for growth with God in my own life.

Bear Traps

I have had this thought for awhile and just been terrible at finally putting it down in writing. In the lenten quest of trying to deal with area of bitterness and figuring out how to navigate those difficult waters, I feel like I have made little headway.

The longer I am alive, the more opportunities I have to be cranky with people- either for something they did, or didn't do, how they made me feel, lots of things.  Some judgements completely my fault, some things that really were intentionally mean or hurtful, some things that weren't meant to be good or bad but just messed up my plans or that were mis-interpreted. I am a mess!  Are we all like this?

It has been an amazing reminder of my need for constant grace and Jesus' saving as we approach Easter.  Even spending this time focussing on how to give up bitterness, it feels futile.  I know I will get to Easter and still struggle with being bitter towards things and people.  The only way I will have a clean slate is by the forgiveness I received from him paying the penalty for my sins and struggles- and it makes me appreciate it all the more.

The one thing I have become aware of is the bitterness onset- so that will help.  Starting to recognize situations and feelings that are leading me towards bitterness- recognizing I am on a journey and bitterness is like a bear trap. So I can be walking along my path and bitterness is on the way like a bear trap- I can recognize I am bee lining right towards it and go around it, or walk right into it and get hurt. Maybe one day I will get better at disabling the bear trap, but for now identifying and not stepping on it will be a good start!

Disgusting garbage can

Have you ever had a moment where God gives you an actual visual?

God’s word for me this year is breakthrough.  I am excited about that- but nervous because usually breakthroughs come after struggle and/or pain. Lent is coming up and I have to shout out to this blog- http://mtmbibleblog.com/2016/02/02/bible-journaling-tuesdays-to-create-lent/- I am doing my first journaling challenge and have been working through the sections this week.

The area I think I am being called to deal with/overcome this next season is bitterness (with a touch of cynicism and sprinkling of unforgiveness). I was working on coming up with my Philippians 4:8 strategies and steps/truths to focus on when I am tempted to slip back into bitterness.  I thought mine were pretty good, but little did I know God had something even better for me. (Although I really should start catching on to that fact sometime soon I would hope , he always has better ways)

Sitting at my desk this evening I remembered I had been holding onto a piece of paper, hidden and tucked away where only I knew it was and which had taken on the embodiment of some of my bitterness.  I had been holding onto it for a myriad of reasons- in case I needed some kind of proof?  …to use to my advantage in seeking my own revenge? …it was hard to move past or wrap my head around?   None of the reasons good enough to hold onto something weighing you down and feeding you lies- but I knew without a doubt that God wanted me to get rid of it on this path to dealing with bitterness.

I had an internal struggle- I felt like letting go of this needed more… flair, ordeal, pomp, drama… but then I realized that was part of the problem.  I just needed to get rid of it and let it go- not dramatically, just simply release it.  I didn’t want to throw it into a trashbag I thought might get traced back to me though.  So I took it with me to Best Buy on an errand.  (Side note- when I was thinking of a Best Buy trash can I was thinking it wouldn’t be anything too crazy) I think everyone who went in today must have cleaned out their vehicles in the parking lot first.  This trashcan, on a casual Thursday night mind you, was overflowing!  It had spilt sticky liquids, cups, bags, piles on the top and coming out around the sides. I walked up and found the best place to deposit my paper.  There was even a small piece of rolled up carpet shoved in the can, no joke! 

When I got home I started thinking that I could just go back and pick it back out of the trash if I really wanted to- to which I realized God had given me the exact image I needed of my bitterness and baggage to move forward.  It is just like that disgusting heap- there was no way I wanted to go back and dig through that disgust to pick up what I put down.  If it were a pile I perceived to be less disgusting, then maybe I would.  He opened my eyes to see it for the disgustingness it truly was- not the image I had softened it to be to let it sit around festering. While I previously had been holding onto it, it was now where it belonged and I could see it as it is- disgusting garbage. 

I am glad I didn’t make it into my own dramatic ceremony, because that would have taken away from the visual God wanted to show me about the bitterness and unforgiveness I am holding onto.  It is the perfect visual to go to when I am tempted to slip back.- my Philippians 4:8 reminder.

Happy New Year!

I find Christmas comes at quite the perfect time.  I wound down the year reading Ezekiel.  It was a little painful at first, no lie, but as I pressed on it was a reminder of how I have fallen short and sought other gods this year.  Just as the Israelites had done the same. I was reminded of the hope we have and celebrate because Christmas was coming.  I was not in the same hopeless situation the Israelites were in- because I know the penalty for those shortcomings has been paid and we would be celebrating the coming of that hope.

It is perfect timing as the year winds down to be reminded of hope- because it is so easy to look back on the year and be reminded of all the ways we have fallen short and the resolutions we messed up and failed to achieve.  But we have the reminder as the year ends that hope as come, that we are made new.  We enter with hope and new resolve! Happy New Year!

The Bad Guys

Something that seems to be a common trend recently has been sympathizing with and justifying the "bad guys".  This trend of downplaying evil or wrong and making that person or character into someone who was just, misunderstood.

I am not sure how to feel about this...

It is a little concerning how we care more about the bad guy than the good guy. Right now it just seems to be about understanding the bad guy- but is the next step wanting evil to defeat good? It makes me think more closely, especially in lieu of Christmas coming when the ultimate good guy came to earth to defeat evil for all time.

I can understand how in a lot of ways "the bad guy" can be more relatable in that we all tend to feel  we have messed up and fallen short like a 'bad guy' in some portion of our lives.  And maybe we want to relate and see them win because it gives us hope that we too, in our shortcomings, can one day overcome those decisions/actions... or it can give us hope that when we have messed up, other people will want to understand us before judging us.  While we as humans tend to be quick to judge and only look at what we can see, the ultimate judge knows our heart and cares more about our heart than our actions. The good guy usually represents and fights for solid and upright morals- what is right.  The only way that evil can truly overcome itself is by accepting and living out what is right- by recognizing and letting go of their evil ways and embracing the good.

And the reason the bad guy doesn't like the good is because it forces them to face the fact that they are falling short of that standard.  They are faced with the choices they made that lead them away from that. And that is hard.  It is something that they want to fight against- and get the way that seems to please them the most at the time instead of going the way that is right but more difficult. And realistically, even the good guy messes up and makes self-seeking decisions because he is not the ULTIMATE good guy.

Yes, it is nice to hope that when we fall short we will not be immediately and harshly judged, but it is not right to expect to not have any consequence to our actions.  Let us rejoice as Christmas approaches and we celebrate the coming of the ultimate good guy who defeated evil once and for all, whom evil never once overcame.

Happy Advent!